Know the lingo
Crossdressing Terms: What the Words Really Mean
CD, TV, en femme, admirer, sissy and the words that hurt, in plain English.
It's About the Clothes, Not Who You Fancy
Crossdressing means wearing clothes, makeup or accessories usually linked with another gender. In Australia it mostly describes men who dress in women's clothes, from a full look en femme to a pair of stockings under the work trousers. It describes what someone wears, not their gender identity and not who they're attracted to.
Transvestite vs Transgender, and Where Crossdressers Fit
A crossdresser enjoys wearing clothes of another gender but generally identifies with the gender assigned at birth: a male crossdresser lives as a man and dresses when it suits him.
"Transvestite" is the older word for the same thing. It came out of medicine, which is why a lot of people now hear it as clinical. Some older crossdressers still call themselves TVs, proudly, and that's their call to make, not yours.
A transgender person's gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. A trans woman is a woman, and her clothes are simply her clothes, not a costume. Some people crossdress for years before realising they're trans; others never do. For the reasons behind the dressing, read why men crossdress.
Decode Any Profile in Seconds
- Crossdresser
- Someone who wears clothes usually linked with another gender. The accepted word today, and the one this site uses.
- CD
- Short for crossdresser. You'll see it all through profiles and chat.
- TV, transvestite
- The older, clinical-sounding word for a crossdresser. Use it for someone only if they use it themselves.
- Trans woman
- A woman who was assigned male at birth. Not a crossdresser: being a woman is who she is, not something she dresses up as.
- TS
- Short for transsexual, an older medical word for a trans person who has transitioned or wants to. Dated, though some people still use it for themselves.
- En femme
- French for "as a woman". Fully dressed and presenting feminine, as in "my first night out en femme".
- En drab, en homme
- Back in everyday men's clothes. "Drab" is an in-joke, often explained as "dressed as a boy".
- Full time, part time
- Living en femme all the time, or dressing some of the time. Both are ticks on profiles here.
- Stealth
- Going out, or living, without people clocking that you're trans or dressed. Ticked on a profile, read it as: discretion matters.
- Drag queen, drag king
- Stage performers: a queen plays a big feminine character, a king a masculine one. Drag is a show; crossdressing is usually personal.
- Admirer, transfan
- Someone attracted to crossdressers or trans women. Admirers join this site as men, women or couples, and if that's you, meet crossdressers is your page.
- Chaser
- Someone who pursues trans women or crossdressers purely as a fetish, treating the person as an object and often staying well hidden. Not a compliment. "Admirer" is the word for genuine interest.
- Sissy
- A self-chosen identity for crossdressers who go for a very girly, frilly style, often with a submissive streak. A label people pick for themselves, never one to throw at someone. Sissy dating is for people who wear it with pride.
- Petticoating
- A roleplay where one partner dresses the other in petticoats and frills, usually with a playful power game in it. Another profile tick you'll come across.
- Femboy
- Usually a younger man with a feminine look, skirts, thigh-highs and a soft style, who generally still identifies as male.
- Gender fluid, non-binary
- Gender fluid: a sense of gender that shifts over time, sometimes day to day. Non-binary: a gender that isn't solely man or woman.
- Passing
- Being read by strangers as the gender you're presenting. Some chase it; others couldn't care less.
- Tucking, gaff
- Tucking means arranging things down below for a smooth, flat line under clothes. A gaff is the tight undergarment that holds it in place.
- Breastforms, padding
- Silicone forms worn in a bra for a natural-looking bust. Padding does the same job for hips and bum.
- Closeted, out
- Closeted: dressing in secret. Out: open about it with some or all of the people in your life, which is your call, never an obligation.
Types of Crossdressing, From Stockings to Sequins
Everyone dresses differently. The broad styles:
- Underdressing: lingerie, stockings or panties under everyday clothes, with nobody the wiser.
- Private dressing: the full outfit at home, makeup and wig included, for your eyes only.
- Going out en femme: dressed in public, at a social night, a bar or a first date.
- Performance: drag, which is about the stage rather than the self.
- Dressing with a partner: as part of a couple's play or the bedroom, which my husband crossdresses looks at from the wife's side.
The Words That Hurt, and Why
Some words still turn up in searches and on adult sites, and they hurt. "Tranny" has long been thrown at trans women and crossdressers alike, often with violence close behind. Some older crossdressers once used it about themselves, but from a stranger it lands as an insult. "Shemale" comes out of porn and reduces a trans woman to her body. "Ladyboy" is the word the West uses for Thai trans women, and many find it fetishising and demeaning from outsiders.
"Trap" paints a trans woman or crossdresser as a trick played on a straight man, an idea that has been used to excuse violence. "He-she" and the schoolyard "poof" just mock. None of them belongs on this site.
Use "crossdresser", "trans woman" or "admirer", and if you're not sure, ask. To meet trans members the right way, see trans dating in Australia, and for everything else, browse our guides.
Quick Answers on the Lingo
What does crossdressing mean?
Wearing clothes, makeup or accessories usually linked with another gender. It's about what someone wears, not their gender identity or who they fancy.
Is crossdressing an offensive term?
No. "Crossdressing" and "crossdresser" are neutral, accepted words, and what the scene generally calls itself. The ones that offend are covered above.
What is the difference between a transvestite and a transgender person?
A transvestite, or crossdresser, wears clothes of another gender but usually identifies with their birth gender. A transgender person's gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.
What is the correct term for crossdressing?
"Crossdressing", written as one word or as cross-dressing. "Transvestism" is the dated medical version.
What does en femme mean?
French for "as a woman": fully dressed and presenting feminine. On profiles, its opposite is en drab.
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